A BDSM Workshop in Sicily
I was in Sicily again this year to give workshops at a kinky retreat I attended last year. It was so beautiful last time that I just had to go again!
The ballbusting workshop I gave in 2025 was definitely the highlight of my trip. Read about it here.
This year, Mount Etna was especially active. Almost every evening after dinner, a group of us would gather outside, watching the impressive explosions glowing in the distance.
One night, while everyone was marveling at the volcano, I had a very different idea.
A fisting workshop underneath the Sicilian stars. The retreat space is set in a picturesque olive grove with a sea view and no neighbors around. I had to take advantage of being in such an amazing space.
A group of us sat in a circle on the lawn, and I started by talking about why I love fisting.
For me, fisting goes far beyond the physical act. I love the closeness, the communication, the ritualistic aspects, and the process of listening to another person’s body. Not to mention the image of seeing my hand inside of someone!
Before going into the practical part, my fistee talked about how he prepares his body and I explained how I set up a clean, organized space.
I showed some useful massage techniques I learned during my tantra massage training. Some focus on the outside of the asshole and relaxing the hips and thighs can make a huge difference.
The goal of the workshop was not to push toward an end result with the whole fist inside. It was about creating the conditions where the body can respond and open up. As they say in German, der Weg ist das Ziel. It’s all about the journey, not the arrival.
Then I talked about the importance of breathing. It’s sometimes common that when something becomes intense, people forget to breathe. I like to synchronize my breathing with the breathing of the fistee. This serves as a simple reminder when their partner has tensed up or is holding their breath.
I guided the participants through the progression from one finger inside, to two fingers, to three fingers, and so on, including the specific movement I do with each finger.
One very helpful tip I shared came from my own experience.
When I first started fisting, I relied too much on my hands and wrists. I often ended up with a little soreness that I jokingly called “fisting wrist.” I think I was trying to use the strength of my hand and arm to slide through that last bit of resistance the body sometimes gives before the fist glides in.
Over time, I learned to do it in a more ergonomic way. Instead of relying on strength from my hand and arm, I learned to let the movement come from my whole body. By keeping my elbow close to my body and using my hip to support my arm, I could lean forward slightly rather than putting all the strain on my wrist. This made all the difference.
At the beginning of the workshop, I had arranged the participants in a circle because I wanted everyone to be able to see each other and feel connected while sharing such an intimate experience. I have given a similar workshop in another context, and there is something spectacular about being with a group of people, all fisting at the same time, at the same pace.
I stopped and looked around at the fisting duos, some with a lube assistant or an observer alongside them. A quiet intensity ran through the circle we had created in the silence of the night. Above us, the Sicilian stars and Mount Etna exploding in the distance.
I must say, there was something intensely romantic about it!
This was another one of those moments where I pause, amazed at where I am and what I am doing, and delighted that there are others who like to go on these journeys with me.
Fisting under the Sicilian stars with Mount Etna erupting in the distance. I hope there will be many more nights like this.