Our dirty little secret
This is a blog entry I wrote seven years ago. When I first wrote it, I had no idea it would resonate with so many people, but it led to so many wonderful sessions. Some of my favorite guests, whether or not they wanted to try dirty games, found me through that text. Reading it again, I think what drew them to me was the honesty in my words. Reflecting on my thoughts back then, I find many of them just as true in the present, so I’ve kept some parts as they were and expanded others, which is reflected in the revised version of this text.
I get asked a lot, “What do you find so exciting about scat sessions?” It’s something that I have put a lot of thought into, especially because scat was something I had never tried before I started working as a dominatrix and it is now one of my favorite things. I had heard about it, but it never sparked my interest. In fact, I was pretty sure that it was something I would never do, but what do you know—my first session as a professional dominatrix was a scat session! I thought “Okay, I’ll try it once to see how it is and can always decide not to do it again if I don’t like it.”
I remember how nervous I was before the session started and I can barely remember what we did leading up to the “grand finale”, but I remember so clearly the tremendous rush I felt as I pulled up my skirt and opened my legs, reminding him that he was there to be my toilet. I looked down at him waiting for my caviar and felt a kind of excitement I had never experienced before. His mouth opened in a gasp as I stood over him and lowered myself slowly toward his face. I will let you imagine how the rest of the session unfolded…
Since that first time almost 10 years ago, I’ve had sessions with absolute beginners to seasoned gourmands. I admire the desire to be a toilet and am fascinated by the different forms this fantasy can take. I understand the need for caviar and provide an accepting space in which to express your desires. Whether it’s the desire to transform into an object and be used, a way to show extreme devotion, or simply to enjoy the closeness of my body and then savor the taste of me in your mouth—I see scat as the perfect combination of submission and worship.
I love the taboo associated with scat.
When you come to me for my caviar, I might be the only person in the world who knows about it, because you can’t share this fantasy with just anyone. It’s our dirty little secret, and this is just one of the reasons I find it incredibly intimate.
There’s something hypnotic and almost trance-like about a scat session, something special about breaking this taboo. Perhaps it’s a kind of “ego death” that happens as someone transforms into a toilet, an object that I use according to the will of my body.
I associate a particular sensuality with lovers of scat—the connoisseur certainly understands how electrifying it is to experience someone’s body both inside and out, whether taking it directly from the source or lying in the gorgeous toilet chair from StyleFetish at Atrium.
I offer scat sessions according to my body’s natural rhythms in the morning, starting between 8:30 and 10:30 am. Because certain preparations are required, the session begins long before we meet in the studio, as I plan what to eat for dinner in anticipation of the upcoming session. I always find it titillating imagining in the evening what it will be like the next morning. It is particularly thrilling to go for dinner with my scat guest the evening before, so they can see what they will be consuming the next morning. Even better is when it’s an overnight session and they are at my disposal any time of the day or night!
One thing that scares a lot of people is the thought that a scat session might be too extreme or that they won’t be able to handle it. But I don’t have a particular program that I perform—each guest is different, and how one feels on the day of the session plays an important role. A scat session isn’t about the amount you consume; it’s about the intention. For some, even just hearing me talk about caviar is enough to make an exciting session, but I also have the ability to take beginners much further than they imagined possible. If you know you want it, I can bring you there!
And last but not least—there’s something that feels extremely kinky about leaving the studio after an intense scat session and stepping outside into broad daylight. Quite often, it seems as if we enjoy our most perverse fantasies at night. Doing something so taboo, so intimate, so exciting in the morning means that I have the rest of the day to savor the memories that pop up now and then and enjoy the tingle I get when thinking about sexy experiences!