A few weeks ago, Johanna Weber, Annabel Schöngott and I got together to talk shop over a glass of wine and some snacks. I always enjoy spending time with the two of them. Our playing styles are definitely distinct, but they also align in so many ways and I am often inspired by their knowledge and experience.
Over the course of the evening, the conversation drifted into different topics and we started to talk about how much we love long sessions. It was interesting to compare how we started offering them and what we like about this kind of play.
My First Experiences with Longer Sessions
In the beginning, I mostly did one hour sessions. That worked well for me because in the first year or two, being a professional dominatrix was such a different experience from playing privately in the BDSM scene. Being in a studio with other colleagues meant structuring the session so that I had enough time for the preliminary talk and shower before the session and time for a chat and cleaning the room after the session so that it was ready for the next colleague. A guest booking a session with me because he liked my profile or stopped by the studio spontaneously was very different from meeting someone at a club or play party, and having a conversation with a guest who I had never met before to see where our interests matched was something that took some getting used to.
I still remember my first long session. It was a three hour roleplay and I was nervous! I didn’t want to forget my guest’s wishes, or not know what to do next and break the fantasy. So before the session, I prepared a very detailed list with different scenes and a few bullet points with play ideas underneath each one so I wouldn’t forget the sequence. I cleverly hid the list in one of the toy chests in the room so I could peek at it if I ran out of ideas.
Once I started playing, I didn’t need to look at the list anymore. I got into my flow and it went really well. This experience taught me that I could trust my expertise. Even though I was new to working as a professional, my ability to play was something that I had been refining in my private life for many years. But the pressure I felt came because someone was paying for this session and I wanted it to be perfect. Imagining the session beforehand helped me visualize it so that I could let the script go and then follow my intuition when the moment called for it.
What I love about long sessions
I love the “wham bam thank you ma’am” excitement of a quick and dirty session, but long sessions have their own special quality. For me, they are not simply about doing more but about having the space for something different to unfold. They allow time for building anticipation and letting sensation evolve in nuanced ways.
A longer session doesn’t have to be several hours or a full day. Even extending a session to ninety minutes instead of one hour can already create the space to go deeper. It’s wonderful to step outside of the pressures of everyday life for a while. The intensity deepens when there’s no clock pressure, and it’s very luxurious to forget about time for a while.
In a longer session, I create a parallel fantasy world that allows for a completely different emotional and psychological space. There is time for different peaks and valleys, dreamlike moments punctuated by more intensity and surprises.
Some things are made for longer sessions, being enclosed in a leather body bag or ritualistically dressed in latex. But there are also things that one might not immediately expect, like a long flogging. One very beautiful session I had a few months ago was several hours of flogging. Of course, I did not start by going straight into peak intensity. I warmed up the body at the beginning and allowed the sensation to evolve. Endorphins and other neurochemicals involved in pain and pleasure responses shift over time, and I very intentionally planned that into my rhythm and pacing. I gradually built up the intensity and used different floggers at different times. In the end, it was a euphoric sensory journey.
What Longer Sessions Can Look Like
There are different ways to play in longer sessions.
There is a guest who I meet for a full day or overnight session. We have intense play sessions that last a few hours, then we savor a delicious meal and share a bottle of wine while talking about culture and politics. I enjoy the company of my guests as equals, then return to our power dynamic when the moment calls for it. We play again once dinner is over, I might use him as my toilet in the middle of the night and he also needs to be prepared to serve me in the morning after breakfast.
Another guest of mine likes a lot of time under restraint where he is zipped into my leather body bag from McHurt. It is incredibly exciting to be packed inside and not know when I’ll unzip the strategically placed zippers and start playing again. The sack has a removable zippered leather mask, so I can control how much sensory input he receives. Not knowing what’s coming next, the sound of my high heels as my footsteps approach, the anticipation of when he will feel my touch again all become part of the session. Sometimes he is completely enclosed in darkness, and at other moments I let him see a little…for instance when I take the mask off and use his face as a pillow while working on my laptop!
And another guest comes to Berlin once or twice a year and we meet several times over the course of a week. This arrangement is perfect for those who might have business commitments or want to do some sightseeing. He lets me know his schedule in advance and I plan our play around when he is free. I throw in surprises here and there and the fact that we meet on different days in different places makes my creative juices flow. It’s another kind of longer session that is woven into everyday life and a secret just between the two of us. Here’s a blog I wrote about one of his visits. Read One Ruined Orgasm a Day in Berlin
If you’d like another exciting perspective on long-form sessions, read Johanna Weber’s blog on the same topic HERE.
And here are the websites of my two colleagues I can warmly recommend: